I've had a CRAZY last couple of weeks. I never thought I'd be so busy or frazzled. School has dumped everything it possibly could on me - two ridiculous group projects, lesson-plans, tests, memorization, labs, video viewing assignments and more. My health has been less than top notch, in fact, I've had a headache straight for the past three days and at any given moment I feel like I'll either pass-out or puke. Work has been insane and busy - We are moving to West Campus. There are more missionaries than what the MTC can hold and so they have had to extend the MTC to parts of Wyview and Raintree (which used to be student housing). It's actually really exciting to watch the work roll forward. But it's been very busy and stressful getting it all figured out. My Co-Teacher has been less than helpful. In fact, he hasn't coordinated with me once since we became Co-Teachers. It's SUPER frustrating and I've been having to take the role of lead teacher. Which has been good for me. But hard, because I have no idea what I'm doing and I don't want to burden anyone. I have learned so much. And it was all in perfect preparation because since we will be moving, the district will be splitting and I will get a new Co-Teacher and become the lead teacher. I'm excited to get to call the shots but a little nervous because I will also have the role of training my new Co-Teacher, Brother Linford. Even though I still feel like I'm brand new, it's now my responsibility to train a really brand new teacher. Trial by fire? I think yes. Sanctification at it's finest. But as President Martino would say, "It hurts so good." My calling has been stressful and I've been trying to figure out how to balance it all. What's most important? Who needs me most today? Maintain eternal perspective and always think of President Monson's quote, "Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved." At my final judgement will Heavenly Father ask to see my report card from the semester? I don't think so, and I really hope not. But I do feel that He will ask to see a list of people names who I tried to help and love. So as stressful as the calling is, I know it's where I need to put precedence. And my roommates... bless their little hearts trying my patience and being problematic. The mission prepares you well for college life. I wish Apartment inventories were as easy to hold as was Companionship Inventory. Haha...
But it has been quite the crazy busy past few days. Literally every day I have felt that I've bitten off more than I can chew. That there was just too much on my plate. Like a pelican whose beak can hold more than it's belly can - my schedule held more than I could stomach. Way more than I ever thought I could accomplish. And yet, I have seen miracles happen time and time again this week. I have seen that when I put the Lord first, everything else fell into it's proper place. Just as President Ezra Taft Benson said, "When we put God first, all other things fall into their proper place or drop out of our lives. Our love of the Lord will govern the claims for our affection, the demands on our time, the interests we pursue, and the order or our priorities." And His love for us will make up what we lack. When it seems we're not enough, He will make the difference up. When we think that we don't possibly have enough time, if we prioritize and put Him first, He will stretch our time and somehow make it more. I've seen this in my life this week. Sometimes to the extent that I have extra time. I don't know how the Lord does it but I do know why He does. Because He loves us. More than we can ever imagine. He wants us to do His will, so badly, in fact, that He will go to all costs to prepare and provide a way for us. My friend, Ty, reminded me of something this week, "The Lord will provide for those with an honest heart." and "Think of the things that matter most." What does matter most? The things of the Lord. The things of eternity. What does it mean to have an honest heart as we work toward those things? Well that's something I've had the privilege of studying a lot about this week. I'd never be able to put into words the full extent of what I've learned, but I will say, I know that the Lord requires the heart. A willing heart. A soft heart. A heart full of love. A humble heart. A sincere heart. An obedient heart. A cheerful heart. Remember this, "The Lord looketh on the heart." (1 Samuel 16:7). "Yea, and he looketh down upon all the children of men; and he knows all the thoughts and intents of the heart; for by his hand were they all created from the beginning." (Alma 18:32). He knows us. He loves us. He knows our desires. He knows our heart. And so I want to live each day in such a way that my actions speak louder than words. I want to live from the heart. And incline my heart more and more each day towards Him. "Tune my heart to sing Thy grace..." Mold it, shape it, refine it, until it's more in harmony with Thee. "Here's my heart, oh take and seal it, seal it for Thy courts above." I'm striving to yield my heart to Him. To give it to Him willingly and obediently. Because I have learned this week, that as we do so, as we turn our hearts and our lives over to Him, He will give us a new heart and make us more than we can ever imagine.
